If I didn’t have a brain injury…


Ian bowling a strike!

What would my life be like if I didn’t have a brain injury? That’s a question I ask myself pretty regularly. I likely never would have stopped taking Xanax. That’s a pretty big one. I also very likely wouldn’t be as in tune with the world around me as I am today.

I also learned the value of true friendship. Most of my friends, at least the ones I had before my injury, I never hear from anymore. I have, however, made quite a few new close friends since my accident. True friends, as opposed to just people I’d go out drinking with. And if I never would have overdosed on Xanax on that day back in 2009, who knows where I’d be now.

Had I woken up like normal on the day I OD’d, nothing would have changed. I would have kept working my dead-end job, kept abusing my Xanax, and I certainly wouldn’t have gotten the fresh start I was able to get. Now I’m unemployed, but going back to school soon.

I have also learned so much about who I truly am, as a person. And that is a compassionate, caring man. I have even become a vegetarian since my accident, which is something I’m not sure The Old Ian would have done, or even had the desire to do.

My relationship with my Mother is closer than ever before. Before my injury, I would often avoid her, embarrassed that I was often so smashed/inebriated/intoxicated. Now that I am no longer taking any drugs like Xanax, I am so back to being myself. Back to being the loving son I know that she missed for all those years.

I just hope that I can serve as a warning for people who may want to take a drug like Xanax. It may make you feel invincible while you’re on it, but the long term consequences can be pretty great. Even if you don’t overdose as I did, all benzodiazepines like Xanax, Valium, and Klonopin can cause brain damage, even when taken at regular doses.

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  1. Jeremy April 21, 2015 /
    • Ian April 25, 2015 /
  2. Anonymous November 8, 2014 /
  3. Andrea October 18, 2014 /